More Jokes
Why did the chicken laugh? It heard an egg-cellent yolk.
Which spiders are the coolest? The ones with their own websites
Which bird is always out of breath? A puffin
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize? It takes them a long time to swallow their pride
Two snails robbed a tortoise. The policewoman asked them "Can you describe the thieves?" "No" said the tortoise, "it all happened so quickly"
What can happen when it's raining cats and dogs? You might step in a poodle
What type of shoes do frogs wear? Open-toad
What do you give a sick bird? Medical tweet-ment
What do snakes like to study in school? Hisssss-tory
What did the frog order at McDonald's? French Flies and a diet Croak
Where does an otter put his money? In the river bank
How does a train eat? Chew Chew
If you are American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European
Why did the kid put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty
Why do seagulls live by the sea? If they lived by the bay they would be bagels
Knock Knock Who's there? Pizza Pizza who? Pizza Poo!
Fred: Someone said you look like an owl Joe: Who?
What did the dog say when the girl told him a sad story? Rough
What kind of nuts always have a cold? Cashews
What do you call a tree that doesn't know the answer? Stumped
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9
What instrument can you find in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste
What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese!
What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it
1-1 was a racehorse and 2-2 was one too 1-1 won a race one day and 2-2 won one too
Why was the mushroom the most popular guy at the party? Because he was a fungi
Knock Knock Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly. Cows go moo.
Knock Knock Who's there? Loud, interrupting, squawking parrot. Loud, interrupting squawking p- SQUAAAAWKKK
What do you call a dinosaur playing hide-and-go-seek? Doyouthinkhesaurus
What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk? An udder failure
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom? Odour in the court!
Why is a fish easy to weigh? Because it has it's own scales
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken
What is out of bounds? An exhausted kangaroo
Why didn't the boy believe the tiger? He thought it was lion
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's popcorn?"
How do you organize a space party? You planet
Why couldn't the pony sing? He was a little hoarse
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs
Which hand is better to write with? Neither, it's better to use a pen
Why do dragons sleep during the day? So they can fight knights
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints
I went to an emotional wedding the other day. Even the cake was in tiers
What do space cows say? Moooooooon
Why did the mommy chicken cross the road? To get to the mother side
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke? He won the no bell prize
Knock Knock Who's there? Smellmop Smellmop who? No!
Where do you take a sick boat? To the dock
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? When a golfer makes a mistake, he goes whack, "darn", but when a skydiver makes a mistake he goes "darn," whack
Two fish were in a tank. One said, "you man the guns and I'll drive" | What do chickens listen to to relax? Bach
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired
What did the elevator say when he felt sick? I think I'm coming down with something
Why don't you starve in the desert? Because all the sandwiches there
What is a twin's favourite food? Pears
Where did the chef leave his car keys? In the cook-key jar
Why was the computer cold? It left it's Windows open
When does a teacher need a bird feeder? When there a parrot-teacher conference
What did the sick chicken say? Oh no! I have the people pox!
What do you call a funny chicken? A comedi-hen
How do rabbits travel? By hare plane
What music do rabbits listen to? Hip-hop
How do you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for grey hares
Who stole the soap from the bathtub? The robber ducky!
What wears glass slippers and weighs 4000 pounds? Cinderelephant
What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bor
What do dinosaurs use to cut wood? A dino-saw
What do you call a crate full of ducks? A box of quackers
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore
What do you call a magic dinosaur? A dino-sorcerer
What does a triceratops sit on? It's tricera-bottom
Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted
Where do kittens go on a field trip? To the meow-seum
What do you call a snake that eats pies? A python
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear
Did you know that cat jokes freak meowt? Seriously, I'm not kitten
Have you seen the movie "Constipation"? It hasn't come out yet
Did you hear about the hairdresser? She dyed
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? It wanted to get to the bottom
Why are strawberries afraid of cars? Because they hate traffic jams
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock
What if you asked a tree what is 1+1? It wooden know the answer
What if you asked it what is 1+2? Tree
What did the mouth say to the eyes? Who nose?
What do you call an underwater Transformer? Octopus Prime
Knock Knock Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? I didn't know you could yodel
Where do sheep go on vacation? To the Baa-hamas
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
Knock Knock Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yes. Yes they do.
Did you hear the sad news about the Italian chef? He pasta way
What's a soldier's least favourite month? March
What is Barbie's favourite store to shop at? The doll-hair store
What did the snowman say during a game of hide-and seek? Icy-you
What did the sprinkler say to the grass? Hose it going?
Why was the broom late? It over-swept
Why did they let the chicken join the band? Because it had the drumsticks
Why didn't the rooster cock-a-doodle-do? It was mourning
What kind of bagel can fly? A plane bagel
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field
If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?
Want to hear a joke about pizza? Nevermind, it's too cheesy.
Knock Knock Who's there? Olive Toop Olive Toop who? Ew |
Have a joke or two for me? Send them by email to dylan@greatcampgames.ca (put Jokes in the subject line)