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More Jokes


Why did the chicken laugh? It heard an egg-cellent yolk.






Which spiders are the coolest?

The ones with their own websites


Which bird is always out of breath?

A puffin


What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh


Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride


Two snails robbed a tortoise. The policewoman asked them "Can you descibe the thieves?"

"No" said the tortoise, "it all happened so quickly"


What can happen when it's raining cats and dogs?

You might step in a poodle


What type of shoes do frogs wear?



What do you give a sick bird?

Medical tweet-ment


What do snakes like to study in school?



What did the frog order at McDonalds?

French Flies and a diet Croak


Where does an otter put his money?

In the river bank


How does a train eat?

Chew Chew


If you are American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?



Why did the kid put candles on the toilet?

He wanted to have a birthday potty


Why do seagulls live by the sea?

If they lived by the bay they would be bagels


Knock Knock

Who's there?


Pizza who?

Pizza Poo!


Fred: Someone said you look like an owl

Joe: Who?


What did the dog say when the girl told him a sad story?



What kind of nuts always have a cold?



What do you call a tree that doesn't know the answer?



Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9


What instrument can you find in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste


What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Nacho cheese!


What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet


How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it


1-1 was a racehorse

and 2-2 was one too

1-1 won a race one day

and 2-2 won one too


Why was the mushroom the most popular guy at the party?

Because he was a fungi


Knock Knock

Who's there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No, silly. Cows go moo.


Knock Knock

Who's there?

Loud, interrupting, squawking parrot.

Loud, interrupting squawking p-



What do you call a dinosaur playing hide-and-go-seek?



What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?

An udder failure


What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom?

Odour in the court!


Why is a fish easy to weigh?

Because it has it's own scales


Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove he wasn't chicken


What is out of bounds?

An exhausted kangaroo


Why didn't the boy believe the tiger?

He thought it was lion


What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?

"Where's popcorn?"


How do you organise a space party?

You planet


Why couldn't the pony sing?

He was a little hoarse


Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs


Which hand is better to write with?

Neither, it's better to use a pen


Why do dragons sleep during the day?

So they can fight knights


How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints


I went to an emotional wedding the other day.

Even the cake was in tiers


What do space cows say?



Why did the mommy chicken cross the road?

To get to the mother side


Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?

He won the no bell prize


Knock Knock

Who's there?


Smellmop who?



Where do you take a sick boat?

To the dock


What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

When a golfer makes a mistake, he goes whack, "darn", but when a skydiver makes a mistake he goes "darn," whack


Two fish were in a tank.

One said, "you man the guns and I'll drive"

What do chickens listen to to relax?



Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed


Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two-tired


What did the elevator say when he felt sick?

I think I'm coming down with something


Why don't you starve in the desert?

Because all the sandwiches there


What is a twin's favourite food?



Where did the chef leave his car keys?

In the cook-key jar


Why was the computer cold?

It left it's Windows open


When does a teacher need a bird feeder?

When there a parrot-teacher conference


What did the sick chicken say?

Oh no! I have the people pox!


What do you call a funny chicken?

A comedi-hen


How do rabbits travel?

By hare plane


What music do rabbits listen to?



How do you tell which rabbits are getting old?

Look for grey hares


Who stole the soap from the bathtub?

The robber ducky!


What wears glass slippers and weighs 4000 pounds?



What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A neigh-bor


What do dinosaurs use to cut wood?

A dino-saw


What do you call a crate full of ducks?

A box of quackers


What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A dino-snore


What do you call a magic dinosaur?

A dino-sorcerer


What does a tricerotops sit on?

It's tricero-bottom


Why can't a leopard hide?

Because he's always spotted


Where do kittens go on a feild trip?

To the meow-seum


What do you call a snake that eats pies?

A python


What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear


Did you know that cat jokes freak meowt?

Seriously, I'm not kitten


Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?

It hasn't come out yet


Did you hear about the hairdresser?

She dyed


Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

It wanted to get to the bottom


Why are strawberries afraid of cars?

Because they hate traffic jams


Where do boats go when they get sick?

The dock


What if you asked a tree what is 1+1?

It wooden know the answer


What if you asked it what is 1+2?



What did the mouth say to the eyes?

Who nose?


What do you call an underwater Transformer?

Octopus Prime


Knock Knock

Who's there?

A little old lady.

A little old lady who?

I didn't know you could yodel


Where do sheep go on vacation?

To the Baa-hamas


Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!


Knock Knock

Who's there?

Owls say.

Owls say who?

Yes. Yes they do.


Did you hear the sad news about the Italian chef?

He pasta way


What's a soldier's least favourite month?



What is Barbie's favourite store to shop at?

The doll-hair store


What did the snowman say during a game of hide-and seek?



What did the spinkler say to the grass?

Hose it going?


Why was the broom late?

It over-swept


Why did they let the chicken join the band?

Because it had the drumsticks


Why didn't the rooster cock-a-doodle-do?

It was mourning


What kind of bagel can fly?

A plane bagel


What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea


Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his feild


If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?


Want to hear a joke about pizza?

Nevermind, it's too cheesy.


Knock Knock

Who's there?

Olive Toop

Olive Toop who?




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